After working in the industry for nearly 15 years I’ve learned how to have thicker skin and brush things off when I don’t land a role. But for a long time, I tied my worth to confirmed bookings.

Because when you book a job, it feels like proof you did something right. And when you don’t, it’s hard not to wonder what’s wrong with you.

The industry can be incredibly rewarding – seeing yourself on billboards, in commercials, on TV screens, or in magazines –  but it can also be disheartening when things don’t go the way you hoped. Like auditioning for 5…10… 20 projects, and not getting a single callback or confirmed booking.

I’m not here to persuade you to quit before you even start – I’m here to prepare you for how it can be. The industry comes with a lot of uncertainty and rejection.

When I was in my twenties I auditioned for a role I really wanted. It was a lead for an international car commercial and the project shot for 11 days. The opportunity was epic and the pay was… good. *like good good*

Shortly after, a callback came in and I was stoked. It felt within reach.

A few days later, my agency called and told me I didn’t get the lead, but production wanted to book me as primary background for 4 of the 11 days. I was disappointed, but still excited enough so I said yes.

When I arrived on set the first day, one of the actors made a comment: “You look just like the lead girl.”

I knew he meant it as a compliment but it stung a little more knowing I was sooo close to what they wanted but not quite “it”.

I began wondering: Was I not pretty enough? Talented enough? Skinny enough? Memorable enough? Why wasn’t I good enough?

But here’s the reality *and it took me years to understand this* – it could be none of those things.

There are so many factors that go into casting, and oftentimes it has little to do with you personally. The client could shift direction and book the opposite gender, choose a different age range or ethnicity, need specific heights to match the cast, or the client could scrap the project entirely.

The sooner you learn to separate outcomes from your identity, the easier this industry becomes to navigate. One thing that’s helped me over the years: as soon as I audition for a project, I assume I didn’t get it. Not in a negative way – but it helps me release it and have zero expectations. And if I do book it, it’s an exciting surprise.

But when the no’s come, just remember…  Rejection doesn’t = failure. It just means it wasn’t your role, this time. If you’re in the audition room, you already made the cut. Keep showing up. Your no’s will always lead you to the right yes’s.

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