The first year I lived in Los Angeles, there was a time when I had $20 to my name and I still needed to buy gas and groceries.
Rent was expensive, and I drove a Chevy Silverado that burned gas fast. Selling my truck wasn’t really an option because I needed transportation to get to auditions, classes, and bookings scattered across the city.
So I worked odd jobs to pay the bills – like background roles that paid $40 to sit in a tv audience — or $120 cash at the end of a twelve hour music video shoot.
I share this so you understand where I was financially when this story happened.
One day my agency emailed me saying a well-known alcohol brand wanted me to audition for their upcoming commercial.
It paid really well and as you can tell, I was broke and needed the money.
The audition location was a trek and the call time was in the middle of rush hour traffic. But when you’re chasing a dream and need the cash, you don’t complain. You go.
After nearly two hours on the 405 freeway, I finally made it to the audition.
As soon as I walked in the casting director mentioned I was the last audition of the day. After slating my name and agency, she described the scene – a somewhat provocative on-camera moment. These details were not mentioned in the original audition notes and she asked if I was comfortable with scene.
As soon as she asked the question I had a brief pause. I felt so many emotions at that moment because…
- I needed the money – desperately
- It’d be huge *and cool* to book a national commercial with a well-known brand
- All my friends and family could see that I’m “making it”
and…
4. I couldn’t have driven all this way and used all this gas – just to… decline?!
But… In my heart I already knew the answer. It just wasn’t something I was comfortable with. This commercial could be around forever. Whatever decision I made in that moment would be a reflection of how I chose to represent myself in the future.
So after a pause, I politely told the casting director: “I’m so sorry but I’m not comfortable with this scene. I’m going to decline.”
The casting director had a surprised look on her face but then she began to smile. She responded, “I really respect that you said no. Every other person who came in said they were okay with this scene – without hesitation. Personally, this is not something I would feel comfortable doing either. Good job for standing up and saying no. You should be proud for knowing who you are.”
She then mentioned she was casting another commercial and she connected me to that project. Which was completely unexpected.
I believe sharing this story is significant because at times you will be presented with hard decisions that test your character.
The – I’ll make more money. What if I never get another opportunity like this? It’s not that serious.
But when people see you stand firm in your values, they tend to respect you more. And more importantly, you will have more respect for yourself. You’re staying true to who you are.
Maintaining a certain persona in public is easy, but having the integrity to hold yourself to the same standard behind closed doors will be harder. Your character is who you are when no one else is looking, and the decisions you make when you think no one else is watching are significant.
The Takeaway
Sometimes knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. Be honest with yourself about what you are *and aren’t* comfortable with. Don’t compromise who you are, just to chase opportunity. Reputation lasts longer than a paycheck. The more you learn who you are, the easier it becomes to recognize what opportunities are right for you – and what you simply shouldn’t do.
You might like: The Unexpected Reason I Booked My First Campaign or On-Set Etiquette That Gets You Called Back
