Even though you’re in the same industry, randomly reaching out to another agent to build a relationship or referral partnership can feel… well, awkward. If you’re a newer agent, it might feel forced. If you’re an established agent, it might feel unnecessary. 

But building industry relationships isn’t just about future referrals. It’s about getting out of your own bubble — learning how others operate, staying aware of different markets, and becoming someone agents genuinely enjoy connecting with *and feel confident working with or sending clients to*.

If you’re looking for a natural way to start building those relationships but might not know where to start, here’s what’s worked for me.

The Initial Invite

I’ve had colleagues ask: What should I say? Keep it warm, simple, and low-pressure. The goal is to create connection — not conversion.

What I might say (DM, text, or email):

Hi (their name)! I came across your (Instagram / brokerage website / through a mutual connection). I’m (your name) — an agent in (your primary market). I’m always looking to expand my referral network. If you’re ever in (your city), let me know. I’d love to connect and show you around the office, give you a quick city tour, or grab coffee.

The Meeting

I’ve also been asked: What do I do or talk about when we meet? It’s simple – just get to know them and greet them with hospitality.

If you’re meeting in-office: Greet them warmly and with enthusiasm, offer a beverage, walk them through the office, introduce them to your team, then sit down to get to know them.

Here are a few conversation starters:

• What brought you to the city?
• Is this your first time visiting?
• Do you specialize in a certain niche or neighborhood in your city? – I.E. lakefront communities, horse properties, MCM homes, etc
• Is there anything new in your business that’s worked well? – this is a great opportunity to learn from another agent
• What is the best thing to see or do in your city? – this gives you an opportunity to learn about their city and what they find most interesting *the hot tips TripAdvisor might miss*

The goal is curiosity over self-promotion. Listen more than you talk. Not only does this build rapport — it also reveals how connected they are to your market.

Tour Them Through a Listing

If you feel comfortable with the agent and your client is okay with it – tour them through one of your current listings.

It’s a triple-win. You’re building a relationship with the agent, you’re actively marketing your client’s property, and you’re demonstrating how you show properties. Plus, the agent can capture content for their socials – which means your property reaches a new audience.

Give a City Tour

Separate from a listing tour, a city tour highlights neighborhoods and lifestyle attractions (shopping, dining, activities). While you drive around, describe neighborhoods and how price points vary across the area. Share some history about the city, peak seasons, and what drives demand (I.E. major events / seasonal travel).

These details let out-of-market agents confidently refer future clients to you — because now they know the market and trust you as someone who understands it.

Leave Them With Something Memorable

People remember thoughtful takeaways.

Suggestions: Elevated print materials including (agent bio, notable sales, reviews) and local guides (restaurant / shopping / activity reccs).

This small gesture signals professionalism and reinforces that you’re not just an agent — you’re a trusted local resource.

The Takeaway

You’re building visibility, credibility, and long-term pipeline — through connections that feel natural, not transactional. Most of these relationships won’t pay off immediately — but when they do, the referrals tend to be high-quality clients. Because you’ve become the agent other agents trust. And remember – sometimes an out-of-market agent becomes a client. So never rule out representing an advisor in a future purchase or investment.

You might like: Before Hiring a Videographer: Read This or My Secret Sauce to Generating Leads